Teckeltales

Frankenstein the Rooster

2011-03-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

I have created a monster. About a year ago, I rescued a tiny little chick from a local market which was bald, ugly, and covered in peck marks from the other chicks. A year of good feeding later, and this is what I've ended up with. His head is above my knee level (and no, I am not short, contrary to what my children may say). Can you see that look in his eye??? it's breeding season now, and he has become aggressive. Last night, he tried to attack me in the garden. He leapt up unexpectedly and clawed at my thigh though my trousers. I was stuck behind a rock, and he wasn't letting me out. I yelled and yelled before M heard me and came to resuce me, equipped with spade and metal spike.

More seriously, he's also been attacking the chickens-and pariticuarly going for one of them, who only has one eye and dislikes sex.

So today, he's been kept cooped up and away from them, only being allowed out to peck in the chicken coop in the afternoon. By which time, the chickens had gone over to the neighbouring farmer's house to eye up his cockerels. They don't care, my chickens. They are all the very worst kinds of sluts...but to get back to the orginal point, this bird is now clearly destined for someone's pot. The only question is whose?...and how to kill this monster???It may require a machine gun...

A Full Moon

2011-03-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

well Martin was dreading this-the super duper full moon which stared remorselessly into the house last night. A pretty impressive sight once the clouds had cleared. M's theory being that I turn into a raving lunatic everytime there's a full moon.

I have never heard such a load of rubbish in my life.

Took Frank for a long walk in the sunshine this morning. Sourdeval seems to be welcoming the Spring with a brace of building projects. Sod the recession when there are subsidies and grants to be had.
Everything is neat and meticulous-I have a wave of homesickness and nostalgia for piles of rubbish, screaming families, and graffiti. I'm not kidding-all that order and tidiness can get to you after a while.

Even the building plots remind me more of a model railway for some reason than real life.
Even more spookily-There is nobody, literally nobody to be seen anywhere. We heard a big dog bark from somewhere way inside a house, but that was it. The French have all gone.

Spring chores

2011-03-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

At last! My carefully calculated programme of phased nagging has paid off and I now have (as a replacement for my broken rotary line) a single clothes line. Just in time-since the sun has really come out the past few days and Spring is finally here notwithstanding some chilly and frosty mornings. To be honest i think I prefer the aesthetics of the single line clothes line to the suburban claustrophobia of the rotary version anyway. As I put the sheets on the line, the wind started blowing and the sheets flapped and cracked in a most satisfactory manner. There is no fabric conditioner in the world which can outdo the scent of fresh air on newly laundered cotton sheets.

The ducks had taken to sitting in a new place in the coop recently, which meant they were depositing their eggs on the concrete floor. so I moved a new nest box into that position and, after the obligatory few days when they spurned my efforts, they've now accepted the change and happily lay their eggs there. I still can't get over the thrill of collecing newly laid eggs.

Mart has been digging out a new bit of vegetable patch. he is a very aggressive gardener. Probably using his garden fork to vent all his frustrations at beig endlessly nagged to put the washing line up. This does mean that Hilda the chicken is dicing with death as she moves closer and closer to his digging area in the hunt for juicy worms.

A Chair

2011-02-28T06:30:00.000-08:00

Yessss!!!!! and it's Welcome to my new(ish) Hypnotherapy chair. M says it looks more like the Mastermind chair but that's just silly. It will be fine. In fact, it will be great. Now, just imagine yourself sitting in it, and slowly allowing all the muscles of your body to relax...(starting with your feet...think of your feet relaxing...) See? It's easy!

In the meantime, Frank is waiting by the wheelbarrow for me to join him in the garden for another digging session.

Yesterday, I unearthed all these potatoes left over from last year. Fantastic. Free food. And it's just as well because since I started writing today's blog, M just phoned to ask me to make today's tea stretch around an extra guest.
My larder is beginning to make Mrs Hubbard's look like a branch of Tesco's Extra.

Cat Yoga

2011-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:00

Today's entry is particularly aimed at any readers who might be a little stressed. (I know there is at least one harassed banker who will be looking at this). This advice and guidance comes care of my cat, Mackerel, who has studied Cat Yoga for pretty much all of his life. As you can see, Mackerel does not have any money, or even any testicles, but he doesn't let that bother him. So yesterday, he found a nice sunny spot on this barn windowsill and proceeded to demonstrate 'The Cat Stretch' which can be achieved by placing all fours on the ground, and arching your back towards the ceiling/sky.

2-The Cobra. Placing your head on the floor, stretch your bottom as high as you can towards the sky/ceiling. Repeat facing towards the other side.

3-Rest. You have earned it. It's not good for anyone to work too hard. Besides which, you're looking gooooooood just as you are.

Tinchebray

2011-02-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

M has returned...so now there is a chance to fill up my little car with petrol and escape to somewhere else for a while. After two weeks, it doesn't much matter where-as long as it's elsewhere. It's an overcast day but to me, it's like Spring due to my slightly giddy mood as I look round the local town of Tinchebray, making my usual odd assortment of sights I found interesting... For example, this raspberry-coloured handle on a closed-down shop doorway. There are lots of closed-down shops in Tinchebray.

This cafe has lettering which reminds me of old Mabel Lucie Attwell books.

70's style tiling (exterior) on another shop front. Reminds me of the era of 'macrame' and 'The Good Life'.

Chickenism (Day 4)

2011-02-10T13:54:00.000-08:00

With Wellington the cockerel elsewhere, the chickens have time once more to give free rein to their creative whims. Tonight, they staged a fairly impromptu and improvised play entitled "Chickenism". Whilst Joan and Bianca (white chickens) acted out the more dynamic roles, illustrating the little appreciated roles of Famous Chickens in History, Hilda (brown chicken), kept silent and still on the perch throughout the performance, a vigil which was apparently intended as testament to the effort and suffering of chickens valued for nothing but their egg-laying abilities...

.
...then, as dusk fell, the harsh electric light illuminated the coop just as the play reached it's climax, and Joan and Bianca leant over Hilda, forming a perfect arc, in a moving tribute to all that chickens have achieved. "Bravo!" I cried as I crouched uncomfortably in the coop doorway, and threw in handfuls of the finest chicken corn.

Star Crossed Lovers (Day 6)

2011-02-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

I have separated the lovers. Hilda and Wellington make a fantastic pair but Big Boy Wellington has been becoming a little over-amorous of late. I gather that most cockerels need a harem of a least 5 chickens and Wellington only has 3 here, and the two white chickens we have have had enough-so I've put Wellington out on his own-and Hilda, who is his soul mate as well as a similar breed, just has to gaze at him through the fence now. Methinks I have seen a similar expression of the faces of some ladies who are out on the town on a Saturday night...Perhaps I shall let him loose for a little while on Valentine's day...!

Meanwhile, the pets have rested this afternoon whilst I did some indoor tasks since my back has been playing up a bit again lately. You would not think that they each have their own bed to get into. Looking at this, I am reminded how nice cuddling up can be. Perhaps I am finally missing Martin now. Only 6 days to go now...

Yellow Dog food (Day 12)

2011-02-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

It's not possible for one person to eat the produce of three chickens and two ducks. So yesterday, i scrambled some of the eggs and fed them back to the chooks. Today, it was the dogs turn-and I scrambled up 5 duck eggs and fed them the result...then stood back and waited for any ill effects...and there were none! Marvellous!

Been keeping the cat in the house at night since I think it's tooooooooooo cold to shove him out. He is still enjoying his day-time naps...

Dogs Have No Dignity (day 13...)

2011-02-01T12:48:00.000-08:00

M has gone back to England for a couple of weeks to do some work. So it's just me and the animals for a while...Aaaaargh...I give it 5 minutes before i start going a little crazee......Didn't like the quietness of the house today (no more than the chaos as he left anyway) so took Frank the teckel for a walk along the voie verte/old railway line. A cold winter's day-with excitable little flocks of blue tits squabbling in the trees, saw pussy willows dangling on another tree...

and a buzzard-or was it a kite?-flying over another silver birch type tree. Meanwhile, Frank occupied himself at ground level trying to eat as many different kinds of animal excrement as he could get away with.

A Last Straw

2011-01-27T08:53:00.001-08:00

It was just another ordinary morning at first...doing the rounds of chicken coop cleaning, floor washing, dog walking, fire cleaning, wood collection and laundry sorting. But although I didn't know it, all the time, my body was storing up a secret suprise for me. After lunch, the sun shone warmly across the garden with something of a waft of spring about it. So I ventured out into the garden with my secateurs and had a fantastic time bending down and trimming back nettles and brambles whilst the dogs played fighting beside me, and the chickens pecked for worms in the newly cleared ground. The pile of weeds in the trailer grew steadily higher and I was very proud of myself when I finally came back in the house. Then I noticed a foul odour coming from this small dog. it was too much to be remedied with a spray of air freshener. He had to be bathed. Since he blocks up the downstairs shower with his stupid hair, and has stumps for legs, I had to pick him up to carry him upstairs to the bathroom. So down I reach -and then up again-and PING! -suddenly my back is in agony. Too late-can't drop the dog-so I race up the stairs in agony, and drop him in the bath-I manage to get him showered in there whilst all the time dreading taking him out again. His legs are WAY too short to manage it for himself. NEVER get a dog like this. M was not due back home for ages and I couldn't very well leave damp dog in bath for three hours or so. So nothing for it but to heave him out again...and ever since, of course, I have been suffering. OW OW OW. M doing more of the chores currently-but with more enthusiasm than consistency, I fear. Next time, I shall just strap one of the ambient air fresheners to this dog. Never Ever again.

Memories?

2011-01-23T15:23:00.000-08:00

One day, a couple of people will be visiting this area we live in (Normandy, France) and they will stop to look at some of the remarkable, ageless granite buildings here. They will notice pockmarks in the stone work, and speculate as to what they might be. Perhaps a problem with the stonework? Or some kind of acid rain? perhaps one of them will suggest they could be bullet holes from the war-but it could well seem one of the less likely explanations, given the sheer quantity of the marks, and the peacefulness of the town. Since, on a sunny day, it can seem impossible that a group of men nearly all of them under 25 and incredibly far from home-will have been moving around that same area, fearful, and fighting for their lives. Memories are becoming fuzzy and there are many inconvenient truths.
Today, I went to play the piano for some old people at the local 'Maison de Retraite'. As usual, they were all sitting there expectantly as I arrived. I have to cajole them a bit to get them to sing. Then I do some Piaf (a particualar favourite of one of the old gents), then I play a bit of classical, and then I tentatively take requests-since I actually know very few French tunes. Today, one new old lady asked for "It's a Long Way". I wasn't sure what she meant-then I thought-and started playing "It's a long way to Tipperary". She became terribly excited and sang along in English. Afterwards, she told me that she hasn't sung that song for over 60 years-since she was a girl. She said she had previously sung it with French, English, and Scottish soldiers. She has remembered it all this time. Another request came in-"Lettre pour Elise" "Sorry-don't know that" I was saying then...another thought-and yes-it was Fur Elise...I played it, and thought of my Dad who used to love this, too. He had said he remembered, when he was a soldier, going to some free concerts in London given by classical musicians. Dame Myra Hess played Fur Elise, and he had loved it ever since. Later, we got a record of her playing it-and I noticed she put a tiny pause in before playing the 'E' in one of the phrases-and I put this in, too, now. I always think of him when I play this.
I don't know how these things will be remembred in a very few years time. There won't be a memory to be jogged with a tune, or even someone to remember how to play it.

Modern Methods

2011-01-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

I gather that there are still some people out there who use the outmoded methods of heating involving pushbuttons and timed thermostats. They must be crazeee.......us, we like to have fun with our heating. Who wants convenience, cleanliness, and control when you have fun wielding an axe instead....

...then again, it's also a chance to get the little tractor thing out and while away another couple of pleasantly frustrating hours making sure it's runing OK after it's winter rest...

...and then, two aching backs later, you have the satisfaction of another wood pile ready for the next load of cold weather. This is such a GREAT way to heat your house....if you don't really have anything better to do!!!

The Normandy Blues

2011-01-12T11:41:00.000-08:00

The Normandy Blues are a well known affiliction here-a kind of generalised mildly depressive malaise. It's most widespread on days when the rain falls continously in a fine mist which demands a adjective other than 'rain'. It's a sogginess of the sky and of the brain. Everything becomes like a damp flannel left on the side of the bath for too long-and one look out of the cat flap can confirm that there's not really much to go out for. Obviously, this isn't a complaint given what's happening with the rain in Brisbane at the moment, but more just a comment on a state of being...

On the other hand, if you are a duck, you can just get on with things and appreciate the increased chance of finding a tasty morsel of worm or slug which the rain has brought closer to the surface...

Mr Fox

2011-01-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

Nature is a pretty amazing thing. Here, in Normandy, there's a lot of available space for the earth to recover from the more extreme conditions that the climate might throw at it-here are views of our front gate and the shepherd's hut here, at different times of year. Today, the sun has shone brighter and longer than for a long while...so I have even been driven to washing windows and M and I have both noted our respective winter body bulges with some shame. The chickens are looking great with the sunny breeze fluffing up their feathers-we had three eggs today.
But then the darkness falls suddenly

in the evening-and we are sometimes a little slow in toddling up the garden to lock the birds up in their coop. The dogs were very restive tonight and I know there will be hungry foxes snuffling around our plump chooks. We must be more prompt to tuck them up.

...the bleak mid-winter...

2010-12-26T15:31:00.000-08:00

We still have snow here-quite a lot of it-and very cold temperatures...the animals' water will freeze over several times during the day. Then this morning, we saw as we got up that the trees
have frozen over-somehow the overnight fog got stuck onto the branches. All quite pretty...but also a warning sign as we discovered when we realised our well water supply had frozen over. Time for Mart to go out in his dressing gown, boots and hat to try and change the supply over at the tap to mains water (which took a while since the concrete lid was also frozen over) whilst I poured bottled water (the shame of it) into the toilet cistern since my body was ready to dispose of the remains of yesterday's Christmas dinner.
Every single thing takes so much longer when it's cold like this. Just getting ready to go outside takes some minutes-in addition to the usual coat hat gloves etc, it's also necessary to apply some kind of lip balm and particularly thick socks. I have been helped with this last item by my daughter's fantastic gift to me of hand knitted woollen socks. They are beautiful and unbelievably soft and warm.

Indoors, I've been busy with the more traditional pursuits of Christmas baking-here using my Mum's old mince pie tray which I can remember her using when I was a child...which memory caused me a tearful moment. She used to do her baking whilst listening to the Carol concert on the radio and-just for once-us children were allowed to help ourselves pretty freely to whatever we wanted to eat.

Here, I did my decorating-as usual-on Christmas Eve. Felt pretty silly applying spray snow to my twiggy branch given the quantities of the stuff outside. The wooden piggy candle holders were made for us by our Swedish friend Pelle a few Christmases ago.

The local shop was open this morning so we called in for a few necessities and noticed a postcard of the town there. We'd forgotten how green this place usually is. We've had weeks of this covering of snow now. It can drive you a little crazy...

Mistletoe and Whine

2010-12-23T16:20:00.000-08:00

Apparently, there is a shortage of mistletoe in the Uk due to a lack of suitable cider apple trees. Here, we have 52 of the flaming things so it wasn't too long before I managed to find a suitable bit that I could reach with my little silver sickle.

By the time M returned from work, I'd quite forgotten I'd hung it up, and, due to a passing irritation, was far from in the mood for a spontaneous amorous gesture.

I returned from a trip to the UK on Tuesday morning after a 24 hour journey..since then, have been snowed in and seen no-one except M. Could be going a little stir-crazy...I've

hung up more fat balls for the birds (a tricky business in gloves), cleaned out the chickens and ducks-oh and the rabbit...we're all struggling to walk on the ice. Even the ducks who look very surprised as their flippers go in opposite directions. Bess the staffie is much cleverer since she waits, follows behind, and then walks directly in my footsteps-a paw placed in each print. it makes me feel like Wenceleslas himself...

Secrets and Fights

2010-12-12T15:28:00.000-08:00

Nearly used these little French buttons today ...then changed my mind...I like them as they are!!!!

A bit busy today with secrets...sssh....also finally realised that it's less effort to reduce M's contribution to Christmas preparations to a celebrity-like bored signing of cards and gift tags, than to nag him to encourage any more pro-active involvement. He has mislaid his shiny black Christmas tree somewhere in the attic...I haven't had time to help look...

I've also been preparing for trip back to the UK for a few days. All this busy-ness leaves the dogs a little under-exercised and ignored, so they take to fighting all over the kitchen floor. I get used to living with the background noise of snarls and barks, along with the occasional 'yelp' from Frank when he wants to be 'released'.
It exactly reminds me of how my children used to be at this time of year...how sweet!

The Christmas Grotto

2010-12-08T14:47:00.000-08:00

Time for the annual jaunt to the Christmas Decoration shop grotty grotto. Sadly, they had no animated polar scenes this year. Mart added to his collection of purple decorations with this little group. He gets the hallway to decorate. He has a black glossy tree and flickering purple lights plus co-ordinating decorations. Me, I get the kitchen. It's the only way-there is no middle ground between our differing tastes in Christmas decor.

Yesterday, my choice was this set of model tools and green flock from the grotto which I'm hoping Naomi might allow me to place around the old crib. I would feel like the magi arriving bearing gifts. There's even a little bucket.

Tonight, I also made these little trees. Their trunks are a little too thick giving them the appearance of tree/mushrooms, but tomorrow I'll put some button or bead decorations on them to make them a little more festive...what do you think????

...today's little project...

2010-12-04T16:07:00.000-08:00

Mart has been kicking old coats into the cranks under the doors to stop the draught whistling it's way in like a small tornado across the floor. So today I made these-practical rather than pretty.

...the hidden world...

2010-12-03T13:54:00.000-08:00

Of course, there are lots of things which are usually hidden from us-or which we're just too busy to look at properly-for instance, the fireflies which fly away with the sparks from a bonfire, or the Tea Elves who form in groups of 12 or so to carry mugs of tea or coffee on trays hoisted onto their shoulders between them-the only evidence of their existence being the frequent times we finally find our cups of tea or coffee in a different place to that in which we left them.

This morning, the snow left clues of other hidden worlds-first, some small cloven hooved tracks coming down from the forest-then, on the ground, these little tracks left by a small animal with a tail-which leaves a line between the footprints. These little tracks curved round to a hole in the bottom of the tree where presumably some small animal has been keeping his winter store of food. It seems a little early to have to be raiding it, but needs must...then the little tracks led right away up towards the vegetable patch....keep safe, little creature!!!

It's so cooooold...

2010-12-01T12:52:00.000-08:00

Wellington the Cockerel has developed into a truly magnificent specimen. I think I am a little in love with him. Today, I took his picture just as he pronounced the "Doo" of his "Cock a Doodle" which is why he's still holding his neck so erect. I've put extra hay in the coop tonight...the chooks and the ducks all snuggle up together more closely in this weather. Tonight, both the dogs went haring off through the dark in the direction of the (locked) coop-I could almost feel sorry for any half starved fox trying to find some sustenance. As Bess returns, I always check anxiously in case she has blood dripping from her jaws...

We still have no snow! But it's bitterly cold...the cows were happy with their hay this morning but the horse and her (nearly grown) foal have to manage by trying to eat the frozen grass

Light and Warmth

2010-11-29T13:01:00.000-08:00

Well-it's blimmin cold here today. but no snow yet...The cat found a sunnier spot on the windowsill, and dozed with his paws in the bowl of chestnuts. Since he had arranged his feet so symmetrically, (in what my Dad used to call the 'Primitive Methodist' position-ie both front feet tucked right in ) it seemed it would be a shame to disturb him. Apparently, cats choose to rest in places that are not good, psychically speaking, for humans to rest in. Whereas dogs do choose to rest in places which are also positive places for humans to rest. Unless the dog is flatulent, and still there, of course. I don't know what you're supposed to do if a cat decides to sit in your lap.

In the evening, before M gets home, I set a candle at the kitchen window so that he can see it as he comes up the drive. I don't really know why...When I turned the kitchen light off to take this candle photo tonight, I noticed that, through the window, you can just make out the lights of Sourdeval twinkling in the distance.

A Nasty Moment

2010-11-26T14:33:00.001-08:00

It was Thursday morning, and I stood just by our gate with our little staffie, Bessie, who was on the lead waiting for her walk. When I saw that, coming down the lane, was this low, stout, and bulky dark shape. If it's possible to lumber along quite fast, then it was lumbering fast. Could it be a wild boar??? We certainly can get them around here. What to do???? The only universal advice I've heard is NOT TO RUN. The best thing, apparently, is to climb a tree. I looked at Bessie-whilst she adores (so far) all humankind, she has two reactions to other animals (other than frank whom she also adores) 1-She regards them as beneath contempt and attention, or 2-She reacts like a rabid crocodile. So far, she was ignoring this creature. I swung the gate to as quickly as I could and photo'd the creature again...then realised it was the escapee pot bellied pig which is the pet of a nearby farmer. What an anticlimax. Several phone calls later, using my rather inadequate french, the farmer was traced, and the pig collected. Later on, I went on another dog walk past the pig pen...whereas this pig is usually rootling around in the afternoon, yesterday he was fast asleep on his side, oblivious to everything.

Our Dog is Too Fat

2010-11-23T15:30:00.000-08:00

Took Frank to the (French of course) vet recently for his vaccinations. The vet pinched bits of his flesh around the hips (Franks flesh that is, not his own), and told me he is too fat. We should be able to feel his ribs easily, apparently.

It's probably related to my decision to have him castrated. (Something the French are not keen on) It has bought him his freedom, but at a price. Perhaps the castration thing is why you see so many over 40 yr old pot bellied men around....

Am having to light the fire a little earlier every day now. It's cosy, but it's loads of work-and I don't even do the log chopping bit. Apparently, we'll have snow in the next couple of days. One of our neighbouring farmers has been burning bit of wood out in the filed, form his recent bocage clearance. he has sorted out all the useful bits, so it's just the thin leafy twigs left to burn. The smoke from the fire whisks up a long way and, as he deposits each new load on from his tractor, the dead leaves roar and crackle like a box of fireworks being set off all at once. Perhaps we will all benefit from having a little extra fat over the next few months to keep us warm....

swallows

2010-09-13T01:07:00.001-07:00

Over the last couple of months, every time we went in a couple of the barns here, we would be dive-bombed by small birds, desperate to drive us away so that they could bring up their babies in peace. Their courage, and noise, was extraordinary. Their nests look like papier mache mouldings tucked up between the beams. Then, a few weeks ago, we started seeing the babies beaks wide open sticking up out of the nest and screaming to be fed. A little later, and the babies were practising their flights and I braved the wrath of their dive bombing parents to take this photo of the four babies sitting on the flourescent light tube. It was only a few days later that, once more, the families were gathering on the telephone lines, and preparing for their mass journey towards warmer climates. it's a short childhood for a swallow....

Good Fortune

2010-08-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family...or so the saying goes. Well in my case, I have the good fortune of having a most excellent brother, and he has the good fortune of benefitting from my good taste when it comes to selecting his birthday gifts. He's actually knocking on a bit now, so it seemed only right to push the boat out this year and get him something meaningful. (He'd also actually remembered my birthday this year for the first time in aaaaaaaaaages) We bought it late-his birthday actually being at the beginning of June-and he's still going to have to wait a bit longer to receive it since it's much too delicate to entrust to the vagaries of the postal system. Revealing it this way also gives him time to prepare a suitable display area in his home. As you (and now he) can see, the figure is of a hunting man accompanied by dog. The man is mysteriously wearing lipstick. Perhaps this is traditional. The dog is of indeterminate gender. My brother likes these kind of dogs although they also stress him, and he also goes shooting hence this gift. We got it at our local Vide Grenier (over-priced boot fair) a few weeks ago. It was on the first stall we stopped at not least because a) it was too hot too look around much, and b), the stall holder was quite pretty and so M found her wares to be of particular interest. The figurine had a tag attached saying 15 euros. M managed to bargain this price down on the basis of damage (a missing gun). If you ask me, he was still robbed. The piece is labelled underneath 'The Leonardo Collection' so likely to be of some value I feel. My brother is pretty canny with finances and investments so will appreciate this aspect of his gift. Here, the first picture shows a standard view of the figurine. The second a side view (unfortunately the missing gun gives the impression the hunting chappie is doing something rather odd). It also shows how recklessly I've placed the figure with a big overhang from the shelf. It could easily have fallen and broken. I honestly didn't realise this at the time.The final pictures here show M's current progress at manufacturing a replica gun. So far, the end result is pretty effective-and done with only a cheap scrap of timber and two (used) toothpicks. So there it is! I don't know when this gift will get to you, big brother, but it's well worth waiting for as you can see. yee ha! I bet that's cheered your day up no end!!!!...and you thought we'd forgotten you!

Teasing the Cockerel

2010-08-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

...and here is Wellington, our youthful cockerel who is now approaching maturity. He has won the day over Napoleon, the bantam cockerel, and Napoleon has had to return to our neighbours', from whence he came. Being young however, Wellington can be over-exuberant with his love-making and so, every afternoon, I let the girls out on their own for a peaceful saunter. They can be seen doing this in the distance in one of these photos, expoing their feathery bottoms-two white, two brown, as they bend over to peck at some tasty morsel. This drives Wellington absolutely crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee with frustration, as he paces up and down beside the fence, waiting for their return in the evening. Yee-ha. Go girls-that's Girl Power for you!

harvest home!

2010-08-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Directly behind our garden (the boundary being the wire fence), is the hay field...and on Saturday, after a series of checks, and much rumbling of heavy vehicles, all was ready to do the harvest...which when it came to it, hardly took any time at all. I always find it exciting for some reason-even though the serried ranks of sweating men with scythes have been replaced with these machines which can do the job quicker than you can say 'giant haystacks'. The little tractor in the second picture is towing a yellow trailer. When this gets full of the hay which the big green and white machine is cutting, the yellow trailer thing suddenly splits itself in two at the middle, and spits out one of those round haystacks. Marvellous.

Counting Your Chickens

2010-07-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

A lot has been happening recently...but since our human lives are really pretty tedious, it's best to focus on the chickens. The neighbours bantam cockerel, Napoleon, has joined our girls-and even been roosting with them overnight for the last couple of nights. His fancy feathered tail can be seen here. I have also 'rescued' another chicken-who has turned out to be a cockerel. So there will be trouble at the coop before long. Wellington (the new cockerel) is trying out his cock a doodle doo at the moment which currently sounds like a gurgling sink. Once he crows for real, it will be war between the two of them, or so I'm told. Currently. Napoleon has a harem of all four chickens, whom he looks after very conscientiously, and Wellington has to make do with raping the ducks when they can't run fast enough.

Here, the chickens are trying their new night-time game which is trying to see how many chickens will fit on the roost before it breaks. It is already bending. The posters in the background, which some of them are studying, have their pictures and names on them. I hope they might learn to read one day.
On a more serious note, some of them have deveoped a discolouration of their combs. They have no other signs of illness so I am hoping this is just a temporary affliction. The traditional approach to sick chickens here is a firm hand grasped around the neck and tightened. it is cheap, and effective. They have been warned...

A baby kestrel

2010-06-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

It's been busy here recently since the sun has finally come out, and many things have started growing. Our neighbours have put their horse and foal back in our field for extra grazing-they did check first! As it happens, it's really useful to have the grass kept down. The French around here must think we're all mad for using lawnmowers-after all, you could have an animal grazing the grass which you could eat or sell later on. At any rate, it does not look as if the french use their grass to practise football on if the world cup is anything to go by...Our other neighbour also had a return of the baby kestrels on his window ledge. Sadly, the one which was pictured here probably left the nest a little too early-but there were at least two others left looking over the edge and trying to judge the right moment to leave the nest-it's never an easy judgement-even for a little bird...

A Broody Duck

2010-06-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

One of our ducks has gone broody. I had thought this might happen to one of the chickens, given that they now have a cockerel, but no-things always happen a little differently here, and for us, it's the duck. For the last few days, we've been lifting her off the favoured egg box after about 10.30, and shutting her out of the coop. Sometimes, I've just lifted the nest box up vertically to turf her out (and yes, tesco's do deliver their shoping orders in very similar baskets), and at other times I have called upon any ill-prepared sandal-wearing man in the vicinity to do the deed, whereupon he gets his toes pecked. Today, I gave up. I have lost out to the forces of nature. Whenever I go in the coop, this duck gives out an odd chirruping noise by way of a warning. She is currently sitting on 3 hens eggs which are probably fertile, and one duck egg which i don't think possibly can be. I've looked on the net, but still can't see any advice for what happens if a mother duck does hatch baby chickens. Will she try and take them on the pond??? For the moment, I'm just amazed at her commitment. Usually, the ducks are very sociable and wander all around the place, and especially love to know what's going on in the house, but now she just sits there all alone, in the darkness of the coop, gazing at nothing, and just listening to the buzzing of a fly as she sits and patiently waits...and waits...and waits....

The Gaspers

2010-05-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

Run fast, little teckel. Run fast and run true. Run 'til your small heart beats like a drum inside your deep chest. Run until your breath pushes your chest in and out like bellows.

For here in the woods, the Gaspers live. I have just seen one behind you, his matted hair fouled with the slime of a thousand slugs, his breath as putrid as the deepest swamp, and his yellow eyes swivelling constantly round in search of his prey. I can hear him crashing through the trees and snapping the twigs in the forest as he chases you. He can run fast on his bandy legs. If he catches you, he will cut off your legs. Already your legs are just stumps because long ago, one of your ancestors, Ruben the Digger, dared to dig in this part of the woods. When a Gasper came upon him, he was angry with Ruben for digging so hard, and he started to chase him. Then he tripped in the hole which Ruben had dug. Enraged with pain, he caught the dog, and cut off his legs so that he could dig no more. Later that night, the wood fairies came and found the poor suffering dog, and with their woodland magic, they were able to sew his paws back on again with tendrils from ivy leaves, and they placed spiders webs around the wounds to help them heal. But, before he had left,the Gasper had sat and gnawed upon Ruben's legs, and they were too badly damaged to be replaced. This, as you know, is how the teckels came to have such short legs, and this is also how the Gaspers came to have bandy legs and bad tempers. It's the reason why the Gaspers hate teckels even more than tax officers, or social workers, or MP's or even bankers. So keep on running little one, and do not stop until you have crossed the bridge and run out of the forest and safely into the sunshine.

Pointing

2010-05-22T15:36:00.000-07:00

Today, I have resumed the pointing of the chicken shed. Here, you see firstly my own pathetic and messy efforts. Second is an area done by my personal pointing guru called Pelle. If you think his looks good, you should see the left hand side of his own house which was where he made his own first efforts at this 'craft'-believe it or not, it's not much better than mine. Obviously he has done a lot since. No matter how good you are at it though, it remains a long and slow process. Can't be hurried. There's the whole chicken shed to be done-front, and back and sides. Currently, the stones are just resting on each other with nothing in between-not a good recipie for stability. To keep my spirits up, M took over tea-making duties which was fantastic. Bess the staffie-type dog came and sunbathed-she lolled against the chicken shed gate in the full sunshine until she became so hot that she'd have a panic attack and have to lollop into the shade. Her breathing has not been so good again lately-she comes to be to be 'calmed' when she's having one of her gasping attacks. The vet said this was a chronic condition, aggravated by the conditions she was kept in before we had her. Anyway, in between her wheeziness, Bessie did manage to tell me a couple of doggie fables to help while away the time. In return, I told her a potted version of the 101 Dalmations. She was a bit cynical about it because she does not believe in mongamy-she seems a little bitter about it, in fact, and any attempt to discuss the rewards of a long-term committed relationship with her just make her hacking and wheezing worse than ever. Poor Bess.

A Baby Bird

2010-05-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight, M came and put a baby bird in my hand. It looked directly at me with it's beady brown eyes, and opened it's mouth into a big yellow diamond shape. It made no attempt to get away. We didn't know what to do with it. He had found it on the ground, underneath one of the cars-the cat had been about to get it.My suggestion was to give it some water from a dropper-perhaps with some sugar in it. M checked online. "Do Not give your baby bird water", he read out. Our baby bird??? I thought...since when ????...it looked at me, and cheeped. "Do Not give your baby bird sugared water" he continued. Hmmm....it is coming to something when a Man starts reading instructions. The advice continued to suggest that we should be fetching a wide variety of insects for 'our' baby bird. Instead, after some thought, M made this rather neat surrogate nest out of a spare corner of old carpet on the tree closest to where we'd found our baby bird, and I popped 'him' in. We put all the pets indoors and withdrew to a safe distance. It wasn't long before there was much cheeping and crying between this baby and a couple of adult birds in the next tree, and then the adults started flying into the area of the carpet cone nest. A little later, 'our' baby bird was gone. I'd like to think it had all had a happy ending but realistically,it seems unlikely. Nonetheless, I feel there should be little nest cones like this every 10th tree or something for just such eventualities at this time of year...

Pipes and Tension

2010-05-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a bit trying for M. On investigating the cause of a loss of water pressure in the house, he discovered a spurting tap up in the garden. We are fortunate here in being able to use a type of well water which was originally put in for the railway line which used to run along the back of the house (now a footpath). This means we only have to turn the mains water on if e.g. we need to use the jet washer-so all our garden watering etc comes for free. it saves a fair bit of money since all water supplies here are metered. Anyway, M clearly thought he had saved the day when he went and shoved one of those things in the pipe which you usually use to stop up a wine bottle. Me, I am a little less of an optimist and sure enough, I was proved right when the stopper came flying out again. Much cursing ensued. I carried on banking up the soil around my potato plants since there's a time to offer a man help, and it's not when he needs it- it's when he asks for it. After he'd been soaked for the third time, M reached this stage and I duly held the pipe whilst he went and sought a solution. All is well again now and he has also neatly concreted around the base of the tap. I saw a goblin admiring his handiwork as I walked the dogs around the garden first thing this morning. It's a fact not commonly known that goblins are terrific at DIY. They actually have very high standards-it's partly why they're often in a bad mood because they're always stressing over the quality of finish, the cost of materials, and how difficult it is, when you're very short, to find a staff member to help you locate things in B and Q stores. As you can see, Franck found M's repeated soakings great fun-this dog is completely incapable of responding appropriately to a number of human emotions-these being things like anger, irritaiton, stress, and hatred. In his world, everything is full of love and sunshine. It could be the death of him one day.

Spring Has Sprung

2010-05-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

This morning, I noticed things seemed very noisy just outside the kitchen window. I turned the radio down...a cock was crowing loudly and repetitively. Since a) I was listening to a farming programme and b) we haven't got a cockerel, I turned the radio completely off, thinking it must be background noise in the programme.But the crowing contineud more loudly than ever. So I finally took a look out of the window to see the above scene-where three of my 'girls' were eyeing up the neighbours cockerel, who has ventured into our garden, lured by their charms. The girls have gone about in a tight huddle all day, not sure what to think. The cockerel is small (size might matter)-in fact, I think he could be a bantam. But he makes up for it in terms of the noise he produces, and the strutting he does. He has his own girlfriend-a small dark bantam who follows him around-but at the least opportunity, he gives her the slip and strays over here. The grass is always greener as they say, and it certainly was this afternoon when I took the dogs for a walk and admired the fallow fields, full of dandelions. A rabbits delight-and I saw a hare leap across the road from this field obly the other day. As for the chickens, the tension is mounting (but will the cockerel be mounting, too?) It's nearly as exciting as British politics at the moment.

Rats

2010-03-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have just been reading a lengthy chapter in one of M's old motoring books on the crankshaft. Being an old book, it's beautifully illustrated with those engraving type diagrams of different kinds of crankshaft. However, the illustrations can't disguise the fact that the subject matter is, to me at any rate, mind-numbingly and fingernail-chewingly turgid. BUT even this life-sappingly deadly reading matter can provde some light relief from the scenario phtographed here. You see, M finally agreed that the ceiling should indeed come down on the dining room. So this is what happened next because it then transpired that this ceiling, too, is full of rat bedding and droppings. It all stinks like you woudn't believe. This room is going from bad to worse. We should never have gone in it. We could have just stuck a picture of how we would like it to look on the door, and distracted any more persistent visitors with the offer of yet another game of 'Nostalgia' and another glass of calvados.

Fire Gardening

2010-03-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

Here is another handy hint. We were shown this by the long Swede in the second pic. You need a dry day-which today was. Then you get a match, and set fire to your garden. All the dry bits flare up and burn. No mowing or strimming required. Just raking to move the burning parts around. There's a constant crackling as the fire travels about, doing it's business. Then it hit the bay tree. There was a huge roar and wooosh as the tree turned into a firework, throwing flames and smoke up into the air. It was incredibly noisy. Then just as suddenly, the fire moved on, leaving the tree intact. It had passed up through the centre of the tree, burning only the dead leaves and sticks. Phew. 'I knew that would hoppen' said our inscrutable friend. Hmmmm....I hadn't realised before how terrifying the noise of an approaching fire could be. Or how rejuvenating fire can be. Marvellous! I don't know why we never thought of setting fire to the garden back in England....

Dangerous Dogs

2010-03-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

Obviously, I am in favour of the government's recent proposed guidelines for the keeping of dangerous dogs. We all get bored out of our skulls from time to time and, speaking for myself, I just love forms and time wasters. They have hit upon a real vote-winner here. Luckily, we own two dangerous dogs. The first, Bessie, is pictured here. She is on a mission to reduce all humans to having cone shaped heads by continously licking them. Also, one of her favourite foods is mallow like duck shits so her mouth is a haven of good hygiene. Our other dog is a teckel who farts noisily and noxiously. His second weapon is complete disobedience and disregard which inuduces a state of apoplexy in any human associated with him such as is likely to bring on heart failure. I look forward to their risk assessments and am confident that they will achieve high scores.

Complexities

2010-03-06T07:32:00.001-08:00

Things are never straightforward, are they. There we were thinking we would just put in a new floor...now this seems to involve numerous further steps including replacing a stair case, and knocking out a new doorway. No wonder the man in a beret is looking a little overwhelmed by events. Meantimes, the taller man seen through the new hole in the wall is, being a Swede, keeping himself peacefully occupied with a necessary task. On further looking at this picture, it seems that M is tackling this task without putting something down on the floor for his knees. He and I have argued about this oversight in the past since he will suffer later for this when his knees start cracking and he starts moaning. What is a woman to do??? I didn't think we had even decided we wanted a door there but there is a certain momentum to these things and, once started, there can be no going back...

The true nature of bullies?

2010-02-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

Cruella is stuck on the chicken shed roof. All four of the chickens, after days of snow, have got tired of being confined to their coop. So on the first sunny afternoon, they have flown up on to the roof of the nest boxes to gaze at the areas in the rest of the garden where they used to be able to peck freely. So I find all 4 of them there when I go up to collect the eggs. Because, being chickens, and having chicken brains, they have forgotten that they won't be able to fly down again. They are too fat and too scared. They are also badly out of practise. One by one, the other three have let me lift them down but Cruella is made of sterner stuff. Every time I make a move towards her, she backs away.

"Stop being silly" I tell her-"you can't stay up there forever"

"I shall fly down myself". she answers. "I am just resting my wings". There is a quiet clucking from the rest of the birds below-are they making fun of her?

When the chickens first arrived, Cruella quickly established herself at the head of the pecking order with a few quick but spiteful nips at the other chickens. This is how she earned her name. Since then, I have come to have some respect for her courage and fearless leadership. She is a Captain Mannering amongst chickens.

"Go on then" I goad her. "Nobody's looking".

She shuffles towards me on the skiddy surface of the snowy corrugated iron roof.

"Make the others to go away first" she hisses in my ear. I look at her with suprise-it's not very easy separating chickens at the best of times.

"They are stupid". She is hissing now. "Just show them some corn".

So I do-and after about 10 minutes, Bianca, Joan and Hilda have all happily waddled away to sit by the frozen pond with a scatteing of corn.

I return to find Cruella still in situ on the roof, in a squatting position now, with her eyes tight shut.

"Do it Now" she hisses. "Put me on the ground. Just don't break my wings".

I oblige, and a couple of seconds later, Cruella is fluffing herelf up on the ground and rejoining the others, squawking importantly.

I am left to ponder how often the bully turns out after all to be the frightened coward.

DIY Tip Two

2010-02-15T13:28:00.000-08:00

Times are hard. the weather is reamaining inclement, and the economic pressures are making us all more inclined to consider Growing Our Own. So in accordance with this, tonights' tip is about how to make your own Indoor Vegetable Garden.

1-Remove your dining room floor.

2-With any luck, you'll discover, as we did, that the floor is only being held up by rotten beams balanced on little rocks, resting on an earth floor.

3If you have a small dog, this is a good time to let it play freely and dig in the soil in order to uncover any rat runs.

4-Find some men to take some of the horrid earth out. If they start flagging, grab a spade and start wafting it weakly in the direction of the pile of soil, sending scatterings of soil all over the place, asking for advice on how to use a spade. The men will react by taking the spade from you, informing you that this is Man's Work, and set to again with redoubled efforts. You can provide them with food and refreshment apparently.

5-You are now left with a good soil in which to plant out your veg in comfort. I plan to divide my area, growing legumes in one quarter, salad items in the other quarter, and I will turf the other half with grass seed and use it for visitors to camp in. lovely!

2010-02-12T06:39:00.000-08:00

When I was a child, my Mother would sometimes confuse me a bit by referring to something called"It" as in

"It's all very well her spending all that money on clothes, but if you haven't got 'It', you're wasting your time."

or, a little more darkly,

"Your father has been trying to charm her with his wit for the past 45 minutes and is now struggling since he's realised that she's got nothing going on between the ears and what's more, she's just not got It. Serves him right."

She was never really specific about what was necessary to have "It". I wasn't really even sure if she approved of "It" and it's only as an adult that I've realised that she was definitely referring to Sex Appeal. So what constitutes Sex Appeal? I suppose it's different for everyone. Myself, I'm not sure that the sex appeal of the average modern celebrity has gone up in direct ratio with the amount of plastic surgery they have, or quanitity of naked flesh they thrust before a camera. For me, I think the kind of come-to-bed tousledness of Brigitte Bardot might have been more the kind of thing my Mother was driving at. A certain gamine quality, with a natural disinhibitedness, and those winsome, playful, come to bed and play with me eyes. I think Bessie shows all these traits to perfection in this picture. Perhaps it comes from her Spanish origins...

Bonne Cuisine

2010-01-31T11:20:00.000-08:00

The local french have a fine cuisine, perhaps a little heavy on the cheeses and butter but tasty nonetheless. So here is the recipie for 'chat-en-panier'. This 'recette' was given to me by our French conversation teacher

1-Take a local country cat.

2-place it in a basket.

3-Lower the whole thing into a deep pan and poach for 7 hours.

4-Throw in a pound of unsalted butter and 2 packets each of camebert, brie, and roquefort.

5-poach for a further 7 hours.

6-take the pan off the heat, and strain all the contents of the basket through a muslin bag.

7-Sift through the contents of the muslin bag and remove the cats liver.

8-Pound the piece of liver with a rusty nail from a fence post.

9-fry the piece of liver in goose fat and calvados

10-Serve on a pewter trencher with no accompanying vegetables. Give the rest to the dog. Then kick it.

Charades

2010-01-23T07:28:00.000-08:00

It's a dull and rainy day...again...and the chickens are passing the time by takinfg refuge in the barn, and playing charades. Here, it's Creuella's turn. The others are perched on the trough, shouting out their suggestions. Creulla has already mimed that it's a book by drawing her wings together-maybe a film as well, she's not sure. Then, she suddenly takes off in a complex series of movements, pacing up and down, then seeming to fight herself, with much squawking, then calming herself, she seems to enact a tender love scene moving from one side of the barn to the other, mimicing the lovers' swooning looks at one another. Then she pauses, and gathering herself to her full height, she mimics a scything action as she marches up and down the barn, pausing only to wipe her brow with a wing. "I've got it!" shouts out Joan, who is sitting on the left. "It's Anna Karenina!". Creulla acknowledges her succes with a bow, and takes Joan's place on the perch. For myself, I'm amazed. I'd had no idea that the chickens were so well read. Then Joan starts her turn. "A Book!" says Hilda who is not the brightest chicken and this is one of the few chances she gets to shine. Joan starts her mime-again, it involves much parading and swooning and some flapping of feathers. There is a lot of concentration then a pause when she stops for the chickens to have a think. Then Bianca calls out: "Is it Anna Karenina?" Once more, success is acknowledeged and Bianca takes her place on the dirt floor whilst i suddenly remember that I have some washing up to do...

How To Make A Window

2010-01-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

This is a pretty good time of year to think about making a new window. Everything's a bit dark and depressing so why not let some light in? It's made this man smile and it might just make you smile, too. It's easy peasy. First you need to stick some board up on a wall somewhere. Cardboard will do. Then, get a tape measure or ruler and measure out-and mark with a pen or pencil-how big you want your window to be. Then you have the last-and the most fun stage-which is cutting your window out. Then voila! as us francophile types say. You have your new window. What could be simpler? It helps if you put something down on the floor first to help with clearing up the enusing mess but, as you can see here, it isn't essential. More DIY tips to follow soon....

snow and mud

2010-01-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

First, the snow froze. I've never seen anything like this before-it looked like some kind of heavy duty satin. very noisy to walk on-the dogs had to push each of their paws into it individually, then pull them out again when they wanted to go anywhere. They were forced to move at a slow pace-and they hated it. Then, finally, it started to thaw-and the snow was light enough for Franck and I to take a walk along the old railway path which gave us an impressive view over the surrounding thawing fields. Now, the snow is more or less completely gone. Whilst it's incredibly exciting to see green again, it also means we're getting to see mud again. Hence the kind of chaotic scene which ensues when Franck tries to dodge the reception committee.

cabin fever

2010-01-12T04:20:00.000-08:00

This morning, I asked M if he could remember how things had looked before the snow came. He said he couldn't. Nor can I. Had there been all different shades of green of just one? Were some of the fields brown underneath or were they all green? How does a cow look against a green background rather than a white one? We've not had any new snow for a couple of days now but the cold temperatures continue-combined with a bitter wind today so what has fallen is just hanging around. I've just put (un-used!) cat litter around the doorsteps where it's getting icy again. We're keeping the chickens and ducks confined to their pound at the moment-otherwise, we have to carry them home at dusk from whichever barn they're taking refuge in-since it can suddenly get too cold for their feet. It's no fun trying to juggle a chicken under each arm with a torch, whilst trying to avoid slipping on ice. To make up for this restriction, I'm rewarding them with some nice snacks-here is one with scrambled egg, wilted lettuce, oats, pasta, and soggy pear. In turn, they are continuing to reward us with eggs.

chicken talk

2010-01-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

"Don't look now" says Cruella, whilst striding ahead, "but I think she's taking a photo of us"

"Whys can't I look?" asks Hilda-

"It's your comb". is the firm reply. "It's too floppy. We may only be common or garden brown french chickens but we still have our standards to maintain. Some of these pictures can be seen abroad, you know".

"I don't care about standards" whines Hilda "My feet are too cold".

"LIFT them" admonishes Cruella. "SEE?" and she lifts her left claw in front of her and firmly waggles it to shake it free of the snow. "But I'm too tired for that" sighs Hilda. "I only just finished laying my egg". "Follow in my tracks, then" says Cruella-a little more kindly. They are, after all birds of a feather. So Hilda trod in her mistresses steps-whilst all around, the snow lay-deep, and crisp, and even.

A New Decade

2010-01-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

Well it's that time of year again-time to take down the decorations and make New years resolutions. Here is a representation, I've just realised of the taste dilemma I have with Christmas.

On the one hand, there's the slightly tasteful wood and red vibe going on-in the other picture, my singing and dancing reindeer and turkey. if you grab the turkey round the neck, it makes a gobbling noise-then if you press it's wing, it dances and sings Christmas songs. Marvellous. Through the window, you can see the heavy frost we had this morning. then this afternoon, we had heavy snow again and took the dogs for a walk in it. I have only broken one of my new years resolutions so far.

Happy new Year

2009-12-31T09:52:00.002-08:00

The appearance of a newt at the start of a new year denotes good health and prosperity for the favoured catchee. imagine how much more of a good omen this must be at the start of a whole new decade. Tonight, we go out to friend's house to share a Swedish style meal. Tomorrow, we have a bit of an open house style thing for a few friends and neighbours. Including our french neighbours who have such a strong accent that we find it very difficult to understand what they're saying. We shall just have to ply them, and ourselves, with enough booze for it not to matter. M has been chopping more logs this afternoon-and playing spot the duck in between since they love hiding out in the barn if they get the chance. I've included this 2nd photo so that you can play spot the duck, too! Happy New Year!!!

2009-12-31T09:52:00.001-08:00

2009-12-31T09:52:00.000-08:00

sleeping positions

2009-12-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, i think there's something wrong with our pets. In the evening, the fire is lit, and they go to sleep. None of them seem aware of the standard pet positions in which to doze. It grieves me. Not only are they frequently disobedient during the day, but they openly flout convention at night,as well. our snow has thawed now, luckily enough. I shall get my trusty but rather floaty twingo out tomorrow and hit the open road again. watch out Normandy, here I come...

A White Christmas?

2009-12-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

Our neighbours called in this afternoon. They came bearing gifts-of a quality pork joint, and boudin-a local sausage. This adding to the gift of a pintard which they left us a few weeks ago. In return, I gave them a bottle of the apricot liqueur and a jar of the apricot chutney which I made in the summer, plus one of my dundee cakes (one of the ones the dogs didn't get at) which I've laced with their own calvados. The men drank some aperitifs together and M took snuff with them. l

Last night, we visited a little village called Beauchene which is close to here-where they have the most beautiful Christmas lights. Now, I've just gone out to tuck up the ducks and chickens who kindly gave us 5 eggs today. They're sitting on their perches and quietly clucking and quaking. i

I've put extra hay out for them today. Whilst I was out there, it started snowing again-great bit fat white flakes. It's going to be a white Christmas this year.

2009-12-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

well that's it, we are officially snow-bound, now. Snow and ice have conspired to make the roads increasingly dangerous and, having encountered a snow drift at close quarters once too often, we are staying put for a while now. This means I am now marooned with a man whose main interests are 1) cars, and 2) quizzes on 1980's pop music. He, meanwhile, is stuck with a highly emotional woman who frequently needs to explore how she really feels about everything. Luckily, we have no guns so should onlyhave chewed our limbs to stumps by the time the thaw sets in.

The vid shows Bianca complaining about M collecting her eggs. M is not usually this strangely dressed. He's generally very debonair but obviously the weather can get the better of us from time to time.

Coming Home

2009-12-18T15:19:00.000-08:00

Just got home after prolonged snowy journey home. gas and water frozen up-inches of snow. the pipes now successfully defrosted and have trundled up to the chicken shed to check on the girls and give them fresh water.

Winter has come rather suddenly. The car skidded on the road coming back-well it was more like floating, really. Missing the family. Hoping Daniel is well enough to enjoy snow tomorrow.

2009-11-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

We've just got back from a dog walk in rather murky weather. A sort of Sherlock Holmes gloom to the weather today. So I've lit the fire now and the dogs have decided to take yet aother rest. Only they're sharing a bed-and now the cat has come along, too. They all have bed each but it seems they prefer the comfort of cuddling up together. Franck has just dropped off to sleep with his head in this downward position (there being nowhere else to put it) and as a result, he's snoring like billio. Suddenly, the light outside the windows has gone from day-light to dark indigo blue and shortly will be dark. That's winter for you. Until now, we've been getting pretty normal amounts of eggs but today, for the first time, there were none at all. I've checked all the chooks' favourite sitting spots but found no eggs elsewhere so perhaps this is just a time of year thing...

winter preperations

2009-10-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

I have started digging over the vegetable plots in the hopes of clearing them of some of the weeds and grasses which have plagued our vegetable growing efforts this year. There is simply never enough time. In the course of this, I've been harvesting the last of our veg. This is only a fraction of the sprouts we have. I have a recipe for brussel sprout curry somewhere. i can only imagine what the effect of that would be on M's wind production. When it showers, the remaining brussel sprout plants act like umbrellas for the chickens who can then enjoy continued pecking in comfort underneath. Yesterday, I had the immense privilege of being present at the actual laying of an egg-Joan being a bit later with her laying than usual meaning I accidentally disturbed her whilst checking the egg boxes. She fixed me with with an intense chicken gaze, puffed herself up to twice her usual size like a large white feathery balloon, and laid her egg. Meantime, M has been enthusiastically going online to check out the various mushrooms springing up in the garden to see which might be good to eat. So far, he hasn't eaten any of them which is probably just as well since some of the ones which are very good to eat look very similar to some of the highly poisonous ones. There are risks and risks...

A Ramble

2009-10-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

M departed today for the UK in a flurry of forms, papers, maps, pianos, lawn mowers, sandwiches and clean pants. To regain some equilibrium and because we were missing him, Franck and I went for a long walk along the chemin. It was utterly quiet and peaceful. We stopped to admire the view, and say "Comment Maintenant" to this brown cow who was gazing in this puddle in hopes of seeing the face of her future suitor (This is cow folk-lore). On his return home, Franck has now crashed out in his bed and I'm about to polish many pairs of shoes. Such a satisfying task.

To Catch A Thief

2009-10-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

First, the good news. Over the last few days, it's finally grown colder with some properly chilly nights. So M has lit the fire and. since it also warms the water for all the radiators, the whole house is snug and cosy. The dogs love it, and so do we. Unfortunately, things are a little less peaceable up in the chicken shed since we have had an egg thief stealing, smashing and eating the contents of our chicken's beautiful eggs. I have had everyone under suspicion and launched the No 1 Chickens Detective Agency in Normandy. Investigations so far have revealed that the dogs are not prime instigators although they may be guilty of a fortuitous sharing of the spoils from time to time. My primary suspect is Jennifer, one of the ducks, since she had been noted to have a yellow eggy coloured streak on her chest. Since the chickens are still laying full blast despite having moulted, the odd loss hasn't caused us much of an issue so far - we still have eggs to give away when we want. But it's annoying-and could catch on...so today I had a minor brainwave following which M installed, at my request, this sort of guttering system (the silver coloured strip is a spare piece of gutter) which should catch the eggs and prevent them being rolled out of the egg boxes and smashed and eaten. How good is that??? Here's hoping it works. Today, M also finished the fence off round the side of the garden since the maize in the field next door was harvested yesterday. he nearly finished the fence off with the chickens still on the wrong side of it! They had a fantastic few hours pecking the remains of the stubble left behind.

Visitors

2009-10-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

This is how much the ducks have grown over the past three months. I think it's incredible. hard to believe it's the same birds. Today, I got pretty absorbed digging in the vegetable patch-I've got one third of it free of weeds now. God knows what it will do to my back which has been hurting lately but I don't care-it's so satisfying. in the meantime, the ducks decided to pay a visit since I'd left the door open. I had to chivvy them out, explaining the only way they'll be entering the house is on a roasting tray. They each left a little memento of their visit on the floor in the hall.

Chickens Are Stupid

2009-10-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

I don't really like to generalise in such a negative way about a whole species of animal-but the fact is, that chickens really are stupid. They are a little like the Borg in that they don't really think as such as individuals, but they merely react. When in a group, as they usually are, the effect of such a reaction becomes amplified. In these photos, one of the chickens (Bianca) has wondered off a little from the rest of the group, happily pecking. In the meantime Mackerel the cat (who seemed fully recovered from having his nuts off after 24 hours) is doing what cats do. Shortly before the photo was taken, Bianca had actually been happily pecking whilst facing the cat. Shortly after the photo, Mackerel received a well aimed apple thrown straight at his bonce. These photos also give an opportunity to admire how well the chooks are doing now that they get to stroll freely around the place. their feathers are so fluffed up that, when they bend down to peck, I think they look like those old-fashioned female tennis players (I think this was confined to the females) who used to wear frilly knickers. Over the past couple of day, its finally started raining-we haven't had any rain for ages. So far, it seems that the old truism of ducks loving the rain is actually pretty accurate in our case-the chickens are often taking shelter during the showers whilst the ducks happily waddle around, or sit in their new favourite place by the back door-one on each doormat-so that they can monitor all the comings and goings here. I just wish that they weren't so enthusiastically incontinent.

Harvest Home

2009-10-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

More veg pictures, I'm afraid-but I get so excited about the fact that I've grown them. I've always thought red cabbages are beautiful when you first cut into them. However, I never really knew how to cook them properly before. It's very different to cooking white cabbage-as everyone else in the world apart from me already knew anyway. So i ended up cooking this cabbage 'a la Delia'-by braising it for a couple of hours with spices and dark sugar and wine vinegar. It was very tasty and smelt scrummy whilst cooking. Then to the gorgeous pumpkin-which has got me considering the virtues of a vivid yellow and orange colour scheme. This is one of two pumpkins I've grown from seed . (well, I merely facilitated the right conditions of course-they managed their growth for themselves. I must not forget my social worker origins). The other is still green and currently enjoying the rain which finally started today. This pumpkin actually had a big manky patch which you can just see starting on the left hand bottom side. however, there was still enough to make a pumpkin pie today. Since I've never made or even eaten one of these before, I've nothing to judge it against-but it's currently cooling on the side and looks fairly edible. M is usually a pretty enthusiastic guinea pig so it can await his return.

Interconnectedness and Ikea

2009-09-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Here it is-the interconnectedness. This is how it works. So my neighbour gave me the peaches-which we've used for various things. Like putting in our ears instead of earplugs (they are small peaches and our ears have grown since we've been here because it's so quiet). And playing balancing peach pyramid games. Then these were the worst of the windfalls and I put them by for the ducks, who've been loving them. They waddle up as fast as they can to get them-the effect is like up like animated kayaks with short legs. Then these are the last of the windfalls which as you see are being eaten by the butterfly who also seems to have it's eye on the fly. Perhaps the fly itself is looking at another thing which in its turn regards the drop of water on the garden table as a gargantuan lake. I'm distracted as i write this because M is currently trying to put together a large filing cabinet from Ikea. He says it's the worst thing he's ever tried to put together from there. Generally, he is the most patient man in the world when it comes to doing flatpacks but it would seem that Ikea is the one place that the interconnectedness theorem does not apply.

Le Chasse du Chicken

2009-09-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

Here, M is demonstrating some of the finer points of chicken chasing which seems to be practised with enthusiasm rather than style in the UK, whereas here in France, it's done with enough flair and style to elevate it to an art form. The moves shown here are: 1) La Discret - obviously this move depends for it's success on the subtlety and stealth of the practitioner-also a certain amount of patience is required. 2) La Glissade. This manoeuvre is possibly more suited to the younger artiste since it requires an element of suppleness and quick movement. Finally, 3) Le Battait douce wherein a gentle flapping movement (by the person rather than the chicken-if the chicken starts flapping, you have lost it-note the calm posture of the chicken in the third photo) is used to encourage the bird in the required direction. We are considering using our premises for the start of a new sport-which could have potential for televising-perhaps to be entitled "Une Homme et Son Poulet". Our chickens seem to have good personalities for use for demonstrations, and, heaven knows, they could do with the exercise since they're getting pretty fat. I would have taken some more photos since there are many more moves-some quite complex but unfortunately, my raucous laughter was distracting the chicken, who was thus unable to give of it's best.

Duck Days of Summer

2009-09-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

This is a very strange time of year-humid although not hot days. the vegetable patch has given of it's best, and the air, as you walk between the trees, is thick with the sound and presence of the flies and other insects which feast on the rotting apples. We pick what we can-but they are constantly falling. yesterday, one fell on a friends'-Jenny's- head. Has it done her any damage??? Hopefully not. On Saturday, there were thunderstorms all around us-we could see them going on in every direction-but none of them ever actually arrived here which gave a real edge of suspense and tension to the day which wasn't entirely pleasant. In the meantime, the ducks have finally taken to the water, Sometimes silently bobbing and swimming around their little pond, and at other times, taking to the water with huge splashes and then spending ages preening their feathers afterwards. they can, to my mind, be pretty much as elegant as swans. So much for ugly ducklings! I have spent a couple of weeks visiting my beautiful children and grandchildren back in the UK-hence the break from this blog. I miss them all.

2009-09-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

I am terribly excited today cos about to visit my family and see my lovely children and grandchildren. hurrah!!!

I will miss the doggies of course-our lovely neighbours have agreed to look after them. However, their dog cushions were completely minging. So I have finally got my trusty old Singer out and made them these new cushion covers. They seemed very pleased and fell into their beds straightaway for a snooze-and at least the neighbours (being posh doggie judges) shouldn't be too shocked at the way our doggies live. only at their behaviour.

Wood

2009-08-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Our wood for the winter has arrived. In order to get it, I had to use my best French on the phone to a local french farmer. The wood is priced by the 'stere' and we ordered 6 steres. Combined with the wood we already have stored, this should be enough to get us pretty much through the winter. The quality of the wood sold can be variable and last year, we made the mistake of buying some unseasoned wood-and initially thought the problem was with our newly installed wood burner when actually it was a problem with the wood. The wood burner also powers a total of 8 radiators placed throughout the house. This wood is of much better quality-a mixture of well seasoned beech and oak which smells fantastic. It actually took quite a while to move it into the next door barn-luckily we did have some help-now M will start splitting some of the logs and I can stack them. Nothing is ever straightforward here. It's not a convenient life. Having said that, there's something very reassuring about paying in advance for your fuel-and then being able to see exactly how much of it you've used-rather than just anxiously waiting for the heating bills to come in in the new year.

2009-08-24T13:52:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy in this glorious kitchen making jams and chutneys and stuff due to the fantastic harvest of PLUMS or GREENGAGES that we've had this year. Never even noticed that fruit tree last year. Thanks to the lovely people who've sent some more jars, i could carry on pickling even more-giving them a share of the result, of course. The shelves are starting to fill a bit now.

In the meantime, we've had a few fantastically hot days and on one of them, Hilda decided she would be happy to pose for a few closeup photos. She's quite a friendly hen and has some fantastic feathery bloomers too so one day I must just post a piccy of her rear view on here as well, if she obliges.

The Colour Purple

2009-08-16T14:07:00.002-07:00

Someone has given us some beetroot so I pickled it today and also made this orange gingerbread which came out scrummy.
I've never given beetroot much thought before-it actually comes with long leaves with deep purple veins which are solid purple when you cut through them. i read in my recipe book that beetroot used to be grown solely for it's leaves-so I put some in our salad tonight. the leaves have a little bit of heat to them, and are pretty. I gave the really wilted leaves to the chickens so we may get some mauve eggs soon. The water left behind after cooking the beetroot was a really lurid pink. I can't wait to grow beetroot myself now.
M has finished decorating the toilet now!!!!! The saga is still not quite over since it's flushing mechanism is worn out but hopefully we're getting a new flushy bit tomorrow . Currently, it takes about 7 vigorous flushes to wash away a single bit of loo paper so not quite up to M's daily doings as yet....

Tradition

2009-08-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

We went to a local country fair this weekend. Saw horse ploughing, local crafts, and champion chickens and suchlike. Also there was this old-fashioned 'wedding group' in traditional dress- including the rather strangely shaped 'monsieur' on the far right of the middle row. Inspired by the sight there of a mother duck teaching her babies to swim, we decided to show our own ducklets the pond again-M seen here escorting one of them. In the course of which, he noted that they're putting on weight and started muttering dark things about duck on the Christmas table. Never, never, never.

Mugginess

2009-08-08T00:36:00.000-07:00

We've been getting some very muggy days-not especially hot as such, more just tiring and humid. The pets, as ever, are much more sensible than us and take their siestas during the day, then race round the garden like mad things in the evening. M is still working on decorating the loo-it's involved getting a 'new' one fitted now. I've weeded the now empty vegetable patch. Wondering what i could put it in next for the winter...

A bit of a squeeze!

2009-08-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

We have pretty much completed our potato harvest now-which has reaped two big sacks worth of potatoes for storing. I started off by digging them up which unfortunately results in too many of them getting damaged-so had to resort to scrabbling around on all fours in the mud, which was kind of fun I suppose. One of our chickens has laid a huge egg-pictured here next to a standard egg. it was nearly 100g. All a bit eye-watering really. I think it was Joan that laid it-and she's up in the egg box right now clucking over something so hope the next one not as big...We've had the four chickens for 16 days now and had 31 eggs so far which is a pretty brilliant result I think given that they can take a long time to adjust to any new surroundings. We've had a major invasion of caterpillars in the red cabbages (suddenly that children's book 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' does not seem so sweet any more) so I've sprayed them with soapy water and hope that that does the trick.

Our smallest room

2009-07-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

M has been decorating our toilet. It's a French style loo, having just the loo in it. So it's very small. So you would think it hasn't been too tricky-or expensive. Just a matter of chucking a bit of paint at the walls. Sadly, this has turned out not to be so. M decided to alter the position of the loo whilst he was at it, straightening it up so to speak so there have been all sorts of complications some of them a little smelly, given that our plumbing is via a fosse. This isn't the final colour scheme-the wood will be painted. Hopefully not poo brown! In the meantime in order to cheer things up a bit, I'm including a picture of Bianca playing a fun chicken balancing game on the chicken feeder.

Growing Up

2009-07-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

The ducklings are growing up terribly fast. Already their yellow down is going and you can see the start of white feathers especially towards their backs. They're still very sweet although they're also extremely mucky shitters. M has called them Clarissa and Jennifer after the two fat lady cooks wot used to be on the telly. I think this is a little over-posh for ducklings (this one is Clarissa). Once their feathers have grown, they can go and play on their pond. Hopefully, they will also grace us with some eggs in due course.

Courgette Madness

2009-07-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

Courgette Soup, Courgette Bread, Courgette Bake, Courgette Curry, Courgette Chutney, Courgette chocolate, Courgette crisps, courgette fighters, courgette nightmares....

Chickens and ducks

2009-07-18T01:15:00.001-07:00

At last! We have our poultry. Their accommodation is rated by oeuf rankings rather than etoiles. M's sterling efforts have given us 'cinq oeufs' out of the maximum sept. The only things we are missing are radio (to help them get accustomed to human voice) and warm air heating. We have two brown chickens and two white ones. I talk to them all the time. I have yet to identify their breeds from the chicken book. So far, there's been no fighting or quibbling at all. We also bought two little ducks and we can't wait to see them venture outside to find the pond M has made specially for them. This pond replenishes itself with water from the guttering system which runs along the roof of the chicken shed, the pipe also doubling up as a further perch. M also created an soakaway for the pond-thank goodness, since it's been raining solidly here for the last couple of days. And we even have our first egg!!! We are both being very polite about who should be the first to eat it. Given that it's arrived so early, it will have been "en-vent" so to speak as we bought the birds It's likely to be a while til the chooks have settled in well enough to start laying properly. But aren't they lovely!

Short Males and Big Girls

2009-07-16T04:25:00.000-07:00

Teckels are definitely the Tom Cruise's, or the Dudley Moore's, or the Danny De Vito's of the doggy world. To illustrate this, here is Franck with his new girlfriend-Jet. She is a big black collie type bitch. At first, she was a bit jumpy when she met him, and she did tease him a lot, but our Franck quite likes a few high spirits and it wasn't long before he was leading her out into the long grasses for a spot of mutual snuffling and rootling. As a result of which, I had to spend ages picking the burrs off him last night, including on some rather intimate areas. When will he ever learn?

Moley

2009-07-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

Oh dear...tonight, M and I were taking the dogs for a walk together. This was actually a very nice and even slightly romantic thing to do as the sun was setting. Our neighbours-two brothers-drove past as we walked down the road and stopped for a chat. Well in fact the car was going so slowly that they may have just carried on driving as before-i don't know. Anyway-they are very nice and friendly but a bit hard to understand for us since they speak a patois French which even many of the native french here find hard to understand. This is what was established: 1-they were on their way out for a drink. 2-They have heard M is repairing the chicken house. 3-they can get us some chickens. Ready to lay-5 euros each. All the rest, we're a bit confused about. Not sure if they're planning to call in tonight with the chooks which they're getting from their farmer friend. M now madly trying to finish off the hen house. Only just stopped them from getting us 30 chickens in the nick of time. Also forgot the french for duck (how can I be so stupid!) so I had to mime that we wanted two of these which they found funny. M trying to tell them yes he wants a cock me saying oh no he doesn't. All very confusing. We shall see...

In the meantime, we have found a second moley-=pictured above. As is my courgette harvest including a couple of distressingly misshapen ones. I'm going to try and plant out another crop of peas tomorrow. it's a bit late for it really i think but I've nothing to lose by trying...

Chicken Shack

2009-07-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

Herewith the current state of the chicken shack-which should really be known as the Poultry Parlour given that it will include a couple of ducks. M will be digging a little pond for them. he's also going to construct a kind of external egg box so that we don't have to go right into the chicken house each time to get the eggs. This is the theory anyway...The chooks will have a great view of the maize field-and the forest beyond if they stand on top of each other. Or fly???More worryingly, we've found out that the cat can squeeze through the little holes in the fence. Since he can catch, and kill, mice, shrews, moles, and garden birds, will he be able to do the same to chickens? We don't know...

Apricots

2009-07-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

I've never cooked with apricots before-I think that I used to find them too expensive in the UK. Here in France though, I managed to get a big box of them for not much so I've made some apricot liqueur which is currently steeping, and also this apricot chutney. I'd been concerned that I might have let the apricots get a bit over-ripe but in fact the ripe ones are the most flavoursome when cooked. The flavour is incredible. M is putting the finishing touches to the chicken shed. We're also going to have a couple of ducks because they are very cute and characterful and duck eggs are also tasty. We are not getting a cock though. There is no need.

Cabbage potatoes and peas

2009-07-05T09:47:00.001-07:00

To be honest, I don't know what I was expecting to happen when i put some seeds in the ground a few weeks ago-because I seem to have been immensely suprised by the fact that some vegetables have come up! . These are all home grown, no chemicals used, and fresh as could be. Marvellous! I plan to try making a soup with the pea pods and am also tackling some apricot chutney this evening and may even make a foray into some apricot liquer. I would love to have a garden gnome somewhere but they don't seem to do them in France. This just doesn't seem to be a whimsical country.

MY NEW PIANO

2009-07-03T07:55:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture of my new piano-which I've been wanting for ages. This is how I got it: I have been pining for a piano for a while now, so M kindly drove me quite a long way to meet someone who had a piano to sell. it was an electric piano. (oh dear!) After much experimentation playing the Titanic theme using the "strings" effect, (Are we drowning?) and then the Bridal March using the "Church Organ" effect (did M read any significance into this???) , I sadly decided that this instrument was not the one for me. Which might have irritated M a bit since he'd just spent ages negotiating with the owners to get the price down a bit. So we went paddling instead. (being near the sea by now). On our return, this meant that there was, briefly, an amount of cash left without an immediate hole to fall into. Then the very next day, M took this cash to another shop in Caen and bought this Window Piano from a big DIY store there. So now the money is gone. But we did, undeniably, need new windows. M tells me that I can tap my fingers on these Window Pianos if I like as long as i clean the finger marks off afterwards. So far, I haven't managed to get a tune out of them. Perhaps, once he's put them in, they will start working properly. Or perhaps I'm just out of practise. These French pianos look very different to me...

Nets

2009-06-18T06:59:00.001-07:00

When in France, it seems best to do as the French do. So here are the French style nets, plus the French style teckel slumbering on the doorstep. Now I shall continue the theme by going and cracking open another bottle of red wine, kissing the postman when he arrives, and donning my flowered overall and completing an afternoon of heavy manual labour in the nearest field.

Remembering

2009-06-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

It's a year now to the day pretty much since my sister died. I miss her most for walking and talking and laughing. Within a short space of time, I have lost a Niece, my Sister, and my Mum.

In the meantime, the plants here are struggling up above the weeds when all I've done is to water them from time to time. It's strange how sometimes the urge for things to live and grow can be so indefatigable and at other times, life can slip away and any efforts to retain it are as futile as trying to hold water in your hands. For myself, I've made up my mind to live for a very very long time. It's not a perfect world but I like it.

Cruelty and Destruction

2009-06-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

Hurrah! I am successfully rearing livestock at last. These attractive caterpillars are reducing some of the cabbage leaves to an attractive and delicate pattern of lattice work. Fascinating. Since there are 12 cabbages and they are all maturing at the same time, and I'm not a great fan of cabbage, I'm not panicking and hopefully there will be plenty for all. In the meantime, Mackerel the cat has been gently torturing this little mouse this afternoon. Time was, I would have rescued the mouse-but living here in a house which was once riddled with rats and their pissy residue has caused me to change my ways. You never know, perhaps Mackerel was just having a bit of a chat with this mouse. My children had this story book once where a cat and some mice lived in a church together and they were all great friends and had huge adventures. The mouse was squeaking a lot so perhaps it was just relating it's life story to the cat.

The rights and the wrongs of things

2009-06-11T11:53:00.003-07:00

Well-I don't know what's right or wrong any more really. It seems that it's perfectly acceptable for MP's to make a mockery of expenses claims, and for Caroline Flint to portray herself as a paragon of feminist virtues. So in this fluid world, it seems quite acceptable to allow a small dog to claim a plush chicken as it's toy. The only trouble is that the chicken has an in-built squeak whenever it's squeezed. It's little flippers (do chicks have flippers?) hang down pathetically out of Franck's mouth whilst he carries it round. It's a pathetic and rather worrying sight. M has only been away for four days so far and I have already managed to break the mower. it seems I have probably managed to burn out the clutch in a fit of over-exuberant mowing on the first dry spell after many days of torrential downpours. "There is no cure" M tells me mournfully over the phone. "I had a premonition this would happen". Why can't he have premonitions about useful, or jolly things? I fight back tears. i had so wanted to be able to do everything.

Mums and babies

2009-06-05T03:00:00.001-07:00

We are currently minding our neighbours' animals for them-including the very proud momma sheep at the top here and her new(ish) baby. Now I know for a fact that my daughter is (quite rightly) very proud of both her lovely children but I don't think even she could beat the way this momma is proudly showing off her baby. But then something tells me that this sheep isn't going to be mothering for quite as long as my daughter is....nasty neighbours!

Pinnies

2009-05-31T13:40:00.001-07:00

You just can't be a lady and do lady's things properly without having a good selection of pinnies. You can keep your clothes clean, wipe your hands on your pinny, or wipe a child's face with it, or waft it at your man in the manner of an exotic temptress. Having said all this, I have never had a waist pinny before -not until my daughter made this one and sent it to me for my birthday. What a clever girl. Also pictured is the fruit salad and biscuits I made today whilst wearing my pinny. To be honest, I think the pinny is not exactly flattering to my hip curves, but whilst doing ladies things there is no harm in looking womanly I feel. The material is certianly very attractive and the patch pocket is invaluble.

A gift

2009-05-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a very nice suprise when Georges the postman brought this parcel up to the house ( he always does this-can he have noticed the post box?) containing this picture which my son (also here pictured) had painted and sent to me for my birthday. It makes a lovely splash of colour in the kitchen. I thought perhaps I should return the gesture by making him something for his birthday whch is fairly soon. perhaps I could knit him a cardi or sing a song for him. Although I think this might result in him repeating the expression in this photo.

Maurice the Toad

2009-05-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

Maurice is our pet toad. ('crapaud' in Maurice's native tongue-'how unfortunate' I tell him). Maurice lives periodically in our garage and chose to pose for this photo whilst sitting in M's sander. Maurice has been keen to learn a little English and since I am always keen to improve my French, we have been discussing our lives from time to time in a kind of Franglais toadish patois. Maurice regards himself basically as being on the centre right, (although not a fan of Sarkozy) he still smokes, and he has 84 grandchildren. His wife died last Summer. He feels they were a good partnership but, since her death (perhaps toads are a little more prosaic than us about such matters) he has found himself reminiscing about the past. When he was a young toad of just two summers, he met another lady toad, Marianne, at the annual spawning. He was utterly bowled over by the pattern of her warts, the articulation of her gait, and the hoarseness of her croak (she, too, was a smoker whereas this was a habit he always had to conceal from his wife). They linked hands, they sat next to one another by the pond in the moonlight, and Maurice felt his heart grow so big in his chest that he was unable to croak despite the beauty of the evening. They made their vows, and their agreed to meet again each and every year and raise a family together. Well Maurice returned to the pond at each spawning (as a toad surely must) for a full five years before he accepted that Marianne was not returning. He never found out what happened to her. He can't say that his his life was ruined, but he felt he would never experience the same kind of love for another toad again-and he hasn't. He tells his grandchildren about the importance of living for the moment, and acting on your strongest feelings but of course they don't listen-they're young, and too busy waddling round puffing theemselves up. m
Maurice lifts his hands upwards beside his face and shrugs-it is the classic gallic gesture 'What can you do?' he asks the garden spider who has been eavesdropping. 'We were all the same when we were young. We thought we had all the time in the world..."

Birthday Activities

2009-05-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday today. I have spent much of the day licking these potato plants into some form of shape and discipline. I gave them a stern talking to and they immediately fell into line. Good thing too. But I still have yet to rescue the cabbages from their grassy graves and the carrots also are getting overwhelmed. Franck sat on the doorstep whilst i had my coffee time and later I found Mackerel the cat looking rather surprised when he awoke and realised he'd fallen asleep on a sunny windowsill, next to a little model cat.

Suitability

2009-05-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

I think that it's amazing that these potato plants have grown so much when I only put them in the ground 8 weeks ago. Nor did we dig in any manure or suchlike. It's a little miracle really. And also a little overwhelming when you realise I have 60 plants all this size and there are only two of us living here-I hadn't realised about staggering them. Never mind. Meantimes, Franck has been busy doing what a teckel does best and following his nose around the garden. How he manages without bumping it I shall never know.He is the ideal shape for this kind of rootling activity. Perhaps all our body shapes are trying to tell us something about what we should be doing.

the chicken shed roof

2009-05-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Two or three momths ago, there was a stormy evening-and the apple tree which had stood next to this little building fell down, it fell onto the roof, making numerous holes-big and small. So today, four other chaps came and helped M put the new roof on. it was a fantastically sunny day. Whe a building gets exposed like this, you find yourself wondering how old it is-and who cut the joints and fitted the beams together. Why are there little alcoves in the granite wall at the back? When it was built did a group of men get together to help each other out in the same way? And did they also sit in the sunshine to eat their lunch whilst discussing life, love, and the best way of approaching the task of the day?

Babies and floors

2009-05-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is not the best ever photo of my splendid and lovely grand-daughter who I have been busy visiting in England, along with also visiting her Mummy, Daddy, and her big brother and her Uncle. On the other hand, it's a pretty good pic here of M in action helping his pal Bill out with his concreting. (Bill having helped us out with numerous things before now-not least on a hideous day when it took hours and lots of people to get our drain unblocked) Unfortuantely, the shutter action on my camera is a bit slow, and it's quick-drying cement, and I hate mucky socks, so M is still there, but just looking a bit less jolly now.

BINGO

2009-04-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

Whenever I put the doormats outside so that I can sweep the floor, it's a mere matter of seconds before one of the dogs comes along and lies on them. If you think Franck is looking a bit peaky, it's probably because he's missing his Auntie Pat. he loves his Auntie Pat because he can never do much wrong in her eyes -she doesn't seem to mind if he jumps up at her and has even been willing to put up with his over-excited greeting peeing on her when he was a puppy. However, Auntie Pat is now in Scotland and has been there for weeks. She tells us it's cold and horrid there but really we know it's like the tropics. She also claims that she'd gone back to do all sorts of important things but we all know that really she's just gone back for a giant, weeks long game of bingo with all her buddies. Poor Franck.

Lovely Things

2009-04-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

here is a picture of our kitchen shelves complete with photograph of my new grand daughter so that i can look at it whenever I like. Bessie is dozing at the bottom in her bed. This is (apparently) the best dog bed. Frank used to get out of this bed if he'd gotten in it first but now he's grown up and he doesn't any more which really really pees her off because she can't pull rank any more. Sometimes, she's come and fetched me to look at frank in the favoured bed, and then she looks at me with her eyebrows lifted-clearly expecting me to kick him out but I have to explain about SHARING and TAKING TURNS and how much happier she'll feel for doing so. She is not convinced.

Also here is the grass heart which M has mown underneath one of the trees. I seem to remember sometime that I've read of Victorian gentlemen who were so overcome with love for their ladies (often after the ladies had actually died of course-quite probably murdered by the very same men-or banged up in a lunatic asylum by them) that they would build some amazing folly with all sorts of meaning and significance in the style and location of the building. Well-i think the grass heart is definitely today's modern version for the modern man in a hurry with a (very) limited budget . I'm just glad he didn't mow anything rude.

A Grand-daughter

2009-04-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

My new grand-daughter was born on Monday evening-she and her Mum are doing really well-so are her Dad and her new big brother-they are all home together now as a family. She is called Abigail Sarah Warton. Abigail happned to be one of my Mum's favourite names (she hated her own name of 'Hilda') and my sister's name was Sarah so these are lovely choices to me-it made me cry! It's all terribly exciting and I can't wait to see her soon. I don't know how to import photos from another blog so if you want to see her (and she is beautiful) you will just have to go to "Sellotape fingers"-there's a link to the right of this. And in the meantime, I've tried to find another nice picture to accompany this-but nothing is as beautiful as my new grand-daughter. hurrah!